Sleepless
by softneji
Summary: one shots of sasuke and hinata.
1. no different

**hey guys! ive always wanted to start a drabble of sasuhina one shots so here we are! i always get so many ideas but the energy to make it into a full story never accompanies it. i figured i would let off steam here and find my way back to my ongoing story. i'll try to get a song to go with each one shot, usually my ****inspiration anyways ;)**

**no different by epik high**

* * *

Sasuke stood out on his balcony which he often considered an exaggeration when he would struggle fitting a chair within the small space. He looked over to the buildings that stood brightly every night, never letting the city sleep. It had effected him deeply over the years; sleepless nights full of dull hope.

It had become routine for him, for them.

Sasuke rarely left his apartment, his shame of living off his family had left long ago. He would wait until the sun began to set, watching the sunset from his bedroom until everything was only illuminated by the city lights. He would watch every night as the city continued to live on through the late hours, waiting. Sometimes she would come home, but it became rare over the years.

She was due though. He knew when the fatigue would start to become unbearable, she would be coming. It's like she knew and it would always be just enough to keep him going until next time.

He heard the balcony door slide open, a small hand gracing his back. He wondered if things had to come to this. They thought their love to be strong, they thought themselves to be strong. But every human had a breaking point and Sasuke had reached his before Hinata did.

"Welcome home."

* * *

A routine, every time.

He would take her to bed every time she visited because he could not bear seeing her once a month and not even touch her. Despite how grim their situation had become, their love never wavered at the touch. It depressed Sasuke further every time. Maybe if he had been stronger things could be different.

"How's.."

"Well. Busy." Hinata's cold fingertips ran over Sasuke's arm, goosebumps never leaving his skin.

The pair had known each other as kids. They had fallen in love as teenagers. Now they were this as adults. Itachi had been the cause of that. The younger Uchiha had been planning to ask for the Hyuuga's girl hand in marriage when Itachi told him the two family businesses' would be joining as one. The older Uchiha always had his eye on the first daughter of Hiashi and figured with time his little brother would let her go. He didn't and he had no choice, but to take things into his own hands. He was next in line to take over the company and his father had been pestering him with marriage. Itachi didn't care for something so flimsy, but the company couldn't be without heir so if he had to be wed there was only one girl right for the role.

He wasn't stupid either, he knew since the beginning they would continue to see each other. He appreciated the discretion, knowing with time they would break. He knew how resilient his wife was, but he also knew she would break watching Sasuke give up. Itachi had watched his younger brother be ripped of his own happiness to prioritize his own time after time and knew Hinata would be the end for him. He hadn't been proud watching the glowing child become into a dull, secluded man, but there was nothing he could do.

He remembered being in his private study looking over some contracts when he had heard her come home, immediately locking herself in a separate bedroom from theirs that he had allowed her to have. He had turned in to their bedroom early that night while he listened to her cry upstairs. After that he had watched the life flow out of her with each passing day. Many people didn't notice since her beauty continued to be a mesmerizing sight, but there was a sadness to it Itachi couldn't ignore. Sasuke would be the worse of the two, only making himself seen for the yearly family dinners.

Before that night, the younger Uchiha would always look like an injured small animal that everyone pitied. He would always steal glances of his old love, left the table when she would, and stared daggers at his brother. After he gave up, he was just a shell of what he once was; last to arrive and first to leave every time. He would only exchange words with Mikoto and despite siding with her youngest, she knew she had no voice to speak out against the injustice her son had been dealt.

"Fugaku has been more persistent lately." Sasuke sat up in his bed, looking up to the woman that should've been his wife. He held the back of her neck, his thumb running along her jawline. "I won't be able to see you like that." They knew his father wanted an heir, they always have. Even on her wedding night, they still promised to each other that it would all be okay. But they both knew a child would break that promise. Hinata couldn't bring herself to be touched by Itachi and he respected that, but that could only be for so long. She wouldn't be able to face Sasuke after that, forcing her to abandon him. It would be how it would all end for them. It had come down to a matter of when now because the days grew more near.

"I'm sorry." He knew he had let her down, but he had never apologized to her. But she still loved him. She still loved him even when his back would always greet her. She still loved him even when he stopped looking for her. She still loved him even when he hadn't told her he loved her in years.

Hinata cried. There was nothing else in her power she could do, but cry. Sasuke could only give her his back. He found it insulting to try and comfort her. It was empty after all. He couldn't bring himself to lie to her anymore.

"Tea." It was all he could say before he got up and left her alone in their bedroom.

Sasuke's apartment hadn't been big, despite Shisui coming on behalf of his brother to insist he can have a bigger one closer to the center of the city. But there had been no reason for him to take up more space, it would be empty. They tried making it into their home, something to hold onto, but one day she came home and all the picture frames were tossed in a box, shattered.

The water in the tea kettle boiled, ringing through the apartment. It won't be much longer before the sun begins to rise, her departure following shortly after. He poured their tea, wondering if this would be the last time he would be pouring her tea at four in the morning. He had always hoped he would be doing it after sunrise and that she would spend her morning with him.

Two sugar cubes, a small dollop of honey.

She would leave for work, but she would come back every night.

That was the routine he had always expected.

* * *

He found her lying on her side, her hand smoothing over the spot he had been in. She took the mug he had handed out to her, setting it down on the table next to her side.

She rarely spoke to him, much less addressed him by his name. It triggered a lot of memories for him, his pained expression difficult to ignore. The couple mourned their love everyday.

"I want you to smile again." His request had taken by her surprise. Their visits had become such a routine, both knowing what would happen the moment she arrived that he saw no reason to talk. "Please."

"There is nothing to smile for." Hinata had surprisingly been the stronger of the two and tried to hold on even after Sasuke had let go, but she grew tired as well. Numb.

"Leave with me." He had grabbed her, putting her head to his chest and she could hear the thundering mess he had happening inside him. "Please."

"Where?"

"Anywhere. Just come back to me." He had found his way to Hinata's neck, hiding his face while his arms wrapped around her waist. "I can't do this anymore, Hinata. I"ve gone absolutely mad, but I know I can't bear to watch you leave through that door anymore." She felt his tears trickle down her neck while he squeezed her. "I love you. Please, no more."

She had come to their home every time hoping he would say this to her, but he never did. It was always him telling her it would be okay, but he never explained how. She believed he had not loved her enough for that and she respected it. She had often wondered if he did still love her at all, but she was too scared for that conversation.

"Y-you love me?" The room became quiet, with him placing his hands on her waist to move her into his view. Her eyes genuinely questioned the man before her and she had every right to.

Sasuke never stopped to think about how deeply he had damaged the girl he had grown up with. He hadn't recognized how much she carried for them both until she rarely stopped by to see him, but even then he had felt his presence had only been too exhausting to deal with. He sucked the energy out of the room and didn't make much effort to make anything about him welcoming, but his love never wavered.

"I will never stop loving you." In the end, it was the love he had for her that helped him open his eyes everyday. "I'm not the same man from before, but please take me for who I am today." He had moved to open the drawer on the table on his side of the bed, a small black velvet box in his hand. He opened it to reveal the ring that she should've seen on the night of their graduation.

The jewels that rested above the ring were of a pale blue and purple hue. It had been nothing compared to what she had received from Itachi, but it was only a ring and nothing more. It would not bond them in anyway.

She had been too overwhelmed with the way everything was happening before her, she weakly held out a pale hand in front of him. Her dream, her happiness, and her beloved had arrived late, but they were finally with her.

"It's only us from this moment until forever, Hyuuga Hinata."

"I love you, Uchiha Sasuke."

* * *

**i dont know whyyyy, but angsty sasuhina is my favorite. their personalities just have a way of blending that i love.**

**anyways, thank u for reading! drop a review or a song for a ****one shot!**

**e**


	2. arranged marriage

**so i have always wanted to write an arranged marriage au for sasuhina and since i have no idea when i will be able to start another story heres a one shot to at least half fulfill my dreams.**

* * *

"Your younger sister will be taking the title as heiress to our clan away from you."

"Yes Father."

"And you will be wed to Uchiha Sasuke."

"Yes Father."

"You can begin your packing and have some Branch members take your belongings to the Uchiha district."

"Yes Father."

"And that will be my final bidding as Hyuuga Hiashi to you. The Hyuuga clan will no longer have any business with you unless your husband requests it."

"Yes Father." Hinata stood, bowing before the man she had been forced to call her father. She left his study and went to do her packing which didn't take long. She had thrown out many of her belongings over the years.

All her things were in two boxes. She had to leave most of her clothes behind since many of them had the Hyuuga emblem embroidered on them. She would now be wearing the Uchiha fan.

_Uchiha_.

Hinata never paid much attention to the boy. Even after he left the village, she never gave him some thought, but it was all her _ex_-boyfriend could think and talk about.

Despite Sasuke being pardoned for everything he did and staying in the village for a few months before left for a so called _redemption_, Naruto could never shut up about him. At times the pale eyed Hyuuga wondered if the blond was in love with the dark haired man yet she still wouldn't have cared.

Everyone was so happy to hear the two were officially dating. Everyone, but her.

The last thread of hope Hinata had for this life given to her was cut when she watched her cousin die in the arms of the Uzumaki. There was nothing for her anymore.

Everything hurt for some months until finally the pain left her numb, left her _empty_.

Agreeing to be with Naruto was something Hinata felt she had to do so everyone can believe the effect of the war had finally moved past all of them. She didn't want to hold anyone back anymore. She was tired of being the dead weight everyone always had to check on as if she weren't a _shinobi_.

"Hinata-sama, Uzumaki-san is at the gates and requests your presence." She gave the guard no response, just leaving her room with them trailing behind her.

"Hinata! Is everything okay?" She had spent her morning walking on the outskirts of the village with him while he babbled about his hokage training from the day before when one of the Branch members came to whisk her away. "Also guess what! Sasuke's in town! If you want, we can see him together!" Maybe Naruto had been too naive to realize had had fallen in love with the boy he spent his whole life trying to bring back home. Who knows.

"Naruto, we can't be together anymore." No hesitation, no pain. It came out so dull, so plain, as if she was telling him about the weather. The look on his face had quickly twisted into one of confusion and heartbreak. Hinata could only look away. Maybe he had fallen in love with her. Who knows.

"W-what do you mean. You're not making any sense, heh." It was a pained, forced laugh. It was hope deep down that it was a terrible joke. Today was suppose to be the happiest day of his life.

Naruto had spent months with Sakura going out of the village to find the right ring. She was a Hyuuga after all. When he had finally found the perfect one that he believed would grace Hinata's hand beautifully, it took all his savings. That didn't matter to him though.

An expensive ring and a life next to him wouldn't fill the void insider of her she desperately tried to hide from everyone, but he always knew. It would have been painfully selfish of him to feign ignorance regarding her state especially when Neji was gone because of him. He knew he couldn't make everything right, but he could try.

"Hinata."

"Uchiha-san." She bowed as he took his place next to her.

"Sasuke."

"Yes." Everyone would know the marriage was forced, but he didn't need it to be so obvious.

"I am marrying Hinata, Naruto."

"What? No! She's my girlfriend!"

"She was. Her father has agreed to this union."

"Hiashi?" Naruto looked to Hinata who kept her eyes on the ground. "Hinata.. you're being forced into this?" She had nothing to say to him. Nothing would change and frankly it didn't matter to her. "I'll talk to Kakashi about this. I promise you I won't let this happen. Neji wouldn't allow this."

"He's dead, Naruto." She felt sick he would bring him into this. She felt sick having to be reminded he was gone. "The Leaf Village has no say in Hyuuga affairs."

He was letting her down _again._ There was nothing he could do _again_.

"Sasuke, you fucking bastard. After everything, this is how you repay me?"

"This has nothing to do with you, idiot. I don't love her, but I refuse to die and take the remnants of my clan with me." It made Naruto all the more angry. "Hinata, have you packed?"

"Yes."

"Bring them. I would like for you to be settled in tonight." She gave no response, leaving the two friends to their conversation.

"You just want to use her for kids? You couldn't have chosen anybody fucking else?"

"I don't have to explain my reasoning to you. I don't expect you to accept this union, either."

"You're goddamn right I don't."

"Goodbye, Naruto." Hinata had came back out with two of her clansmen carrying her things. He walked past him, the Hyuugas following behind him.

_Hinata I'm sorry._

* * *

It had been four months since she began living with Sasuke, but he still hadn't decided on an official date for the wedding.

She spent most of her days alone at the Uchiha district. She had managed to tidy up all the abandoned homes to try to bring some life to the cursed land while Sasuke would be away.

He had left her with access to the forgotten Uchiha fortune even though he had never clearly stated for her to do anything about the land, but she figured being in her bedroom everyday would harm her further.

Sasuke only allowed Hyuuga to come help her when he had taken notice of her efforts. He hadn't felt threatened by his old classmates and could care less for their hatred towards the whole ordeal, but he saw how drained Hinata was. It was before she was forced to be with him, long before. But he was in no place to inquire so he figured he could keep things peaceful around her.

"That will be all for today, Taichi. Thank you."

"I will be back tomorrow, Hinata-sama."

"Hinata, Taichi, and there will be no need. I can handle the rest."

"You will always be our princess, but understood. If you ever need anything we will always be glad to help you." The marked Hyuuga bowed before leaving her all alone. She wished she could smile at the thought of being loved by all of those around her, but it stopped being enough for her. Their bonds weren't deep enough. In reality, it all meant nothing to her.

She had gone into the home she shared with Sasuke to take a shower before she prepared dinner. It wouldn't be much longer until he came home from wherever he spent his days.

* * *

The only thing missing to complete the evening was Sasuke himself. There was never really a set time that he would arrive and Hinata never minded the wait. She was rarely ever hungry, but she couldn't leave him to have dinner by himself. It hadn't been something he requested, but it didn't feel right to her. So she waited everyday for him.

He had arrived not too long after, but she had been more interested in the sweet aroma he brought with him.

A cinnamon roll.

He had set it in front of her before taking his seat across from her. She just stared at him, waiting for his reason.

"I was told you like them."

She did, or at least she use to. They lost the sweet taste she had fallen in love with as a child, or maybe it was just her. Who knows.

"Thank you, Sasuke." But she wasn't going to tell him that. Instead she wondered who had told him that since all her friends were practically shunning him.

She tore a piece off with her fork, the warmth of the freshly baked good hugging her, but it still lacked. Except the hints of the sweetness tried to force themselves through and it made her weep.

Sasuke only watched her, ignoring his own dinner. No one had told him she liked them, but the memories of regularly seeing her at the bakery as a kid came flooding into his mind the week before.

"Hinata."

"I-I'm sorry. Excuse me."

"No. Stay." She had kept her head down, her bangs covering her eyes, but he could see the tears sliding down her cheeks. When she had gotten up to leave, he caught glimpses of her exhausted eyes. "Would you like to know why I haven't decided when we will be wed?"

She stopped, her back to him. She did want to know, but never found it to be her place to question why Sasuke did things the way he did.

"Your mental state, Hinata." He had gotten up to stand across from her, his hand taking her to chin to force her to look at him. She looked terrified and that was the most emotions he had seen on her face despite the months they have been living together. "You're not mentally fit be with child."

Hinata hadn't been called out in that manner before. Maybe her friends knew the condition she was in, but chose to ignore it since that's what she did as well.

Sasuke didn't.

"I need healthy Uchiha children, Hinata. Hiashi said you were fit to be a mother, but you're far from it."

"I'm sorry, Sasuke." She wanted so badly to look away from his heavy gaze, but he kept a firm grip on her chin.

"I don't want your apologies. I want to know the issue otherwise you being here is useless."

His words stung and she couldn't understand why. Her father's constant verbal beat down left her numb somewhere along the way. She felt it had been forever since she had felt anything, negative or not.

"I.. I don't know."

And that wasn't a lie. Neji's death had broken her, but what if he were still alive? Would have this forced marriage been the next breaking point after being torn away from Naruto? Her mind had become a ticking time bomb, waiting to go off and completely destroy everything that made her _her_.

With everything that she has had to endure since she was a child, she couldn't pinpoint the root of all this. The root of this _hell_ for a life.

* * *

Hinata had reoccurring nightmares after the war. By the time they stopped, they had already become cemented into her head. Unfortunately they had found themselves back to her, more heart wrenching than before.

She woke with a scream.

It would have been impossible for Sasuke not to wake. His eyes immediately flashed a murderous red and purple, but there was no danger in sight. All there was next to him was the small body of a girl who shaked while she choked through her sobs.

In the six months she had been living with him, she had peaceful nights. Even after her and Sasuke began sharing a bed a month ago, she always slept through the night without an issue.

But now Sasuke sat next to her, trying to calm her down with some leftover tea they had from their dinner earlier.

But it had all felt too real.

Neji and his father yelled at her for what seemed like an eternity asking why they had to die for her and she had no answer for them.

"_I don't know, I don't know, I don't know._" Was all Hinata could shakily whisper out.

The whole time Sasuke felt as though he had been watching himself except those nights spent shaking and crying, he had been alone. Despite that, he wasn't sure what to do if there was anything he could.

He was too familiar with these type of nightmares due to his own trauma. He didn't think there could be anything to calm someone down from the hyper realistic nightmare you're forced to deal with.

Somehow one of his hands found themselves rubbing her arm until she exhausted herself and fell back asleep.

This would continue for the rest of the week, but he didn't mind it.

Sasuke learned about Hinata in disorganized bits and pieces, but Hyuuga Neji had been the center point.

She hadn't told him about his demise, but one day for whatever reason he found himself inclined to visit the village gravesite and found his tombstone. With the dates engraved on it, he realized he had been a victim of the war. Sasuke wondered if she blamed herself for his death or if she was simply having trouble living her life without him.

* * *

After a month of nightmares, he suggested visiting his grave to her. Again she wondered how he knew her cousin had passed away, but she didn't question it and agreed.

She always agreed to whatever Sasuke wanted and he hated that, but he couldn't do anything about it. For now he could just hope that one day she would take control of her own life again.

When they had arrived, she kneeled down before his grave setting down the bouquet of daisies and white carnations she urged they bring. They each had one, but Sasuke's wasn't meant for Neji.

Whenever Hinata fell silent when she would speak about her past, Sasuke would fill it talking about his own. She learned about his older brother. She wondered how he survived; how he managed to continue with his life despite having lost it all.

He had left her alone to leave his own flowers with his brother. He didn't have anything ever to say when the occasion rose when he would visit his late brother. He knew everything he needed to know. He had made peace with it all somehow. He just sometimes wished things could've turned out differently for him, his brother, his family, his clan. But there was no use dwelling on those wishes.

This had been the first time Hinata was at Neji's grave after the funeral service. The longer she stayed away the more awful she felt, but now? She felt after so long there was fresh air in her lungs.

She looked across the cemetery to where Sasuke had his back to her. It was because of him.

A tired smile appeared on her lips, salty tears running over them. It had been so long since she had smiled willingly. It had been so long since she has done a lot of things and it was because of him; the man the village still resented, the man naruto would die for, the man she never really had an opinion on until now.

He was far more gentle than anyone would ever believe, but she enjoyed having the secret to herself.

She looked down to his grave, the tears coming in rivers now. She would have paid any price, even her own life, if it meant he was here today.

His hand often found itself resting on her head or arm; a reminder to come back. It was somehow an intimate act and they both realized it, but chose not to address it.

He kneeled down in front of her, his hand still resting on top of her head. She looked up at him and a for a moment, he had been taken aback. Sasuke was finally beginning to understand the mystery that was Hyuuga Hinata.

Sasuke had his anger. He had his goals: become stronger, kill his brother, destroy the village, become hokage. While they left him empty and alone, they were goals nonetheless. His grief had become anger and vengeance.

The same could not be said for hers.

Hinata took everything in, but it never came back out. Instead it festered inside of her until she could no longer contain it. She had lost her will to live.

"He died because of me." His was taken away from his thoughts by her words. Her sad smile made his mind scream at him to hold her.

So he did.

* * *

**ok so this was just suppose to be a short one shot but i kept thinking of so many things to add so im gonna stop it here and do a part two! hopefully one day ill be able to make it into a full fic and fill in the gaps with all the time skips i do!**

**thank u guys! lemme know what u think!**

**e**


	3. part2

In the ten months she had spent living with Sasuke, she didn't really see anyone with the exception of the Hyuuga. Her friends knew better than to look for her after Sasuke made it clear he didn't want anyone on Uchiha grounds. Hinata didn't have any real inclination to see them, either.

So when Ino had stopped her at the market to invite her _and_ Sasuke out for a dinner her and the rest of their friends were having later this week, she had been surprised.

"Make sure you both make it! We don't get to see each other very often so it would be nice if we were all there." It was all Ino said before she left Hinata, leaving no room for an answer.

Her friendship with Sasuke had oddly blossomed, possibly because of their living situation, but she wasn't sure if he wanted to mend anything with his old friends much less see them. So she decided not to bring it up to him.

Yet she was surprised again when he arrived for dinner, at the same time he had been arriving now regularly for, and brought up that Ino approached him regarding dinner with their friends and even more surprised when he asked her if she wished to go.

"Did you want to go?"

"If you would like to go, Hinata, I will accompany you." She wasn't sure why, but it brought an odd delight to her heart. She nodded while he enjoyed his dinner.

When he realized the female counterpart of his annoying blond childhood friend had been following him since he had come through the village gates, he knew it must've been something she had to get through to him.

"I hope you know I do hate you Sasuke, but I miss Hinata and I would like for you to be back with us as well."

He had legitimately not cared for fixing his old bonds. He was still a man driven by his goals no matter the inevitable casualties. Sasuke also deep down held some resentment towards them since Hinata wouldn't do it. The way he saw it, their bonds were nothing but superficial nonsense or they never really cared for the ex-Hyuuga heiress to begin with. It took nothing on Sasuke's part for them to keep away from Hinata ever since she began living with him.

All his classmates went to the ends of the earth to get him back in the village, suffering physically and emotionally, but the same couldn't be said for Hinata. The thought always lingered and it truly irritated him, but if she was happy to see them then she must see something he doesn't.

* * *

"Ino.. You did what?"

"I think it'll be good!"

"For who? Naruto or Sakura?" She crossed her arms over her chest rolling her eyes at Shikamaru. She knew Naruto and Sakura were hurt deeply with Sasuke's actions, _again_, but at some point they all had to come to terms with it.

"It's almost been a year! Or what? Letting them wallow in their self pity is what we are going to let them do for the rest of their lives?"

"You should've talked to us first before you went off making these decisions yourself."

"What's done is done. If it's going to be a shit show then a shit show we will have tonight."

"You are... unbearable."

* * *

They rarely were out together and when they did, it was to see Neji mainly, but even then the people they encountered were few.

Yet Ino had them cutting right through the middle of a bustling village on a Friday evening. While some ignored them, their only concern was to get home and not the mismatched couple, others stared and whispered.

She had done her best to ignore them, but something inside her kept nagging her to stop and tell them the truth about the man they hated.

The man who had been so wronged by the village that was suppose to be his home and despite all the betrayal he faced for years, he would still protect it until his last breath.

The same man they believed to be so evil was one of the kindest men she had ever met. The same man who would bring her tea during her nightmares and bring her back from the hell her mind had become. The same man who had been working diligently so she can crawl out of the black pit she had been living in for years.

While she realized it was so she could be healthy during her pregnancy, it was something he didn't need to do. He could've tossed her aside like so many others have done to her before, but he was always there for dinner to ask her about her day and a new memory of Neji.

Whether or not Sasuke cared for her didn't matter because the flower he planted inside of her was growing either way.

She was falling for the man the village hated.

* * *

"Why are you here?"

Sasuke simply stared at his old teammate while he quickly grew agitated as always.

Growing up Hinata hated being in betweeen these type of situations, but at some point in her life she realized she was always meant for them. She was suppose to be the mediator even though she couldn't do it verbally, her physical discomfort was enough for people to realize the frail girl they were in front of.

She didn't care anymore though, so she took a seat and waited for Sasuke to join her.

"I invited them! You guys are good friends, we all are!"

"You had no right to do that Ino." Sakura had grabbed a hold of her best friend's arm, squeezing her emotion into it. He never cared for her tears, her love, for _her_. She was tired of looking a fool in front of him.

"Oh look, I was right." Shikamaru muttered beneath his breath as he took a drink of his sake.

"We _were_ good friends, Ino. You don't get to make the decision when all our problems go away for _your_ convenience." Naruto stood up, trying to keep his anger contained that has not in any way left him.

"Clearly this was not a matter discussed with everyone so we will be going." Sasuke had never sat down and was not going to be the center of whispers and side glances when he had the privacy of his home.

Hinata stared up at Naruto while his eyes shined with sadness and anger. She wondered if it would remind her of her younger self when she so desperately wanted him to be this passionate about her, but she felt nothing seeing him like this before her. She had stopped loving him so long ago and she was never going to love him again.

She stood up to accompany Sasuke back home, feeling his eyes bore into her back. She looked back at him and he pleaded.

His eyes pleaded so desperately for her to come back to him. For everything to come back to how it _should've _been, but he was a stranger to her now. She never understood where Naruto's love for her came from. He was a different man and she was no longer interested in knowing about it.

All she knew now was how desperately she was hanging on to the flower that was sprouting inside of her because of the dark haired man she shared a bed with. That's all that mattered to her anymore, even if it meant losing everything she had known her whole life.

* * *

"I should've known this would've been a waste of time. She always does as she pleases."

"But you did know. That's why you wanted to have dinner before we left to see them."

A slight curve made its way onto Sasuke's lip, as he took off his cloak and hung it up in the coat closet as they arrived home. "I didn't want to be annoyed _and_ hungry."

Hinata let out a small laugh as she prepared some tea. "We didn't have to go."

"I figured you wanted to."

Hinata was quiet, almost frozen to her spot. It was the first time she had known he was going out of his way for her and it created a feeling she couldn't understand. "You didn't have to." Her voice had been so quiet Sasuke had to make his way closer to her to hear.

"Everyone has needs and wants." He never had trouble speaking with people, but the more he was around her the more he wanted to touch her while they spoke. It was all he could think about when they talked and it was becoming overwhelming for him.

"Sasuke,"

"Hinata," He saw the hairs around the back of her neck stand up and her hands grip the counter as he moved closer, his voice only getting lower as he spoke to her. "I don't want to deny you of anything."

"You... you aren't."

"Tell me what you want."

"I don't want or need anything. I am content with what I have."

"You don't want to see your friends?" Sasuke was pressed against her back while his hands were next to her's on the counter, his head leaning over her shoulder as he whispered close to her ear.

Hinata didn't understand the situation, but the way her heart pounded was a pace she had known for more than half of her life because of a blonde boy.

"No."

"Why?"

"They.. they aren't my friends. They never were."

"Do you want," Sasuke wasn't sure what was coming over him, but something inside of him had wanted whatever this was. He wanted to know what it felt like having her this close to him that he could hear the thundering of heart and smell the lavender fragrance he only ever got hints of. "me?"

He wanted to know this woman in more ways he had ever wanted to know anyone.

"Yes."

Hinata didn't understand the situation, but the way she wanted and needed him in any ways he would have her was a feeling she had known for more than half of her life because of a blonde boy.

* * *

They had found a stream near the Uchiha district and followed it down for some hours while they talked until it became a river and they found a resting spot against a boulder.

Hinata soaked her feet in the cool stream, her pale thighs glimmering with the rays of sunshine that escaped through the thick trees above them. There that feeling was again. When Sasuke had finally succumbed to the temptation of the Hyuuga, it only made him more greedy.

She allowed his calloused, hot hands feel her soft, cool skin and his perpetually chapped lips to feel the curves of her neck and the tenderness of her lips. But he wanted more. He wanted to know how smooth her thighs would feel beneath his hands and how she would shiver if his tired hands held her hips above him. He wanted to have her completely, but he knew that would not be possible. Not yet at least.

He knew he couldn't get ahead of himself until he understood what this was. Was it simple lust for the first woman he had ever been attracted to? Or was his cautiousness alluding to more?

Everything he learned about her only drew him in more. Curiosity? Love? What was all of this and why.

He had came back to the village with his goals over a year ago, but somewhere along the way it had unraveled into something else. Into something he had no control over.

His loss of control peaked his interest like a child. He wanted to know what more Hinata could blindly lead him into.

"Hinata." She turned to him and her big eyes were ready to hang on to every word he said to her, the light flush that spread through her cheeks never leaving her. "You can go back to Naruto," yet while his curiosity kept him wanting more he wondered how much she would give him. "If you would like." As much as he wanted? All of her? Or was this not even her?

He always spoke in a monotonous tone that it only further confused Hinata, but it caused an aching pain inside of Sasuke. That pain was his answer to many things, but more importantly had she always seen him as the monster she was forced to be with? Was he meant to atone for his sins by never being loved again?

Hinata stared at the man before her realizing how troubled he really was, but she couldn't say she was surprised. Sasuke was simply better at masking his emotions.

"I stopped loving Naruto long before you came back and he knew it. That's why he's never came around the compound."

Sasuke always assumed when he would leave for the missions Kakashi gave him that they would see each other and initially he hadn't even cared. He had figured that's why Naruto was so hurt.

"I couldn't tell you if Naruto truly loved me, but I do know if he had any real love for me it didn't surpass the guilt and debt he felt towards me." Hinata turned away from Sasuke, bringing her knees to her chest while her wet feet were tickled by the grass beneath them. "It wasn't just Naruto that I stopped loving, but everything. When I lost Neji, I lost everything." She took a shaky breath in, wishing that maybe this would be the last time it pained her to talk about him. "I think they knew. Certainly Naruto did and that's why we were together." Sasuke knew possibly everything about the Hyuuga prodigy and the effect he left on her, but he never knew Naruto was implicated in his death. "Naruto was the last person to speak to him and I wouldn't know exactly what they said to each other, he never brought it up, but my cousin being who was at the time I know even in his dying breaths he thought of me."

"Do you resent Naruto?"

"No. I pity him and the weight he has to carry on his shoulders alone."

"If neither of you loved each other, why?"

"Naruto is angry with himself because he can't protect me from anything and that's what Neji had dedicated his life to. He couldn't save me from my family and he couldn't save me from you. He let his friend down."

"Neji would've kept you from me?"

"No. He would've known I loved you and let us be, but I don't think Naruto would believe that because I think in some twisted outcome he ended up having some love for me."

"I guess you're stuck with me, huh?" Sasuke laughed out of relief. She said she loved him with such calmness it would've been childish of him to question it any further.

She turned back to the man she loved, bringing her hand to his neck, "I was meant to love you, Sasuke."

"Marry me, Hyuuga Hinata."

* * *

**im sooooo sorry for the late update between the two. even with this virus putting me out of a job, everything has still been so hectic. thank u to everyone who has been reading these shorts during quarantine, i love u and stay safe!**

**to anyone reading this while waiting for an update on my fic new flame, i sweaaar it will be coming. ive been reading over it though and i need to do some major editing so i promise u will get a refreshed fic with an update!**

**thank u for all the support, especially now with everything going on. it means the absolute world to me.**


End file.
